Wth… Life?

/in /by

Its been an odd couple of days here in beautiful San Diego. I have been working and schooling like any other kid, and then I just couldn’t talk anymore, the words could not flow, the mouth could not move. I sat there amazed that in all my lifetime I could I was failing myself and everything I believed in. It made me scared and psychotic.

That’s what happened, it pushed me to the point of just falling to my knees, and suddenly, I woke up. I sat there breathing hard keeping track of every movement and sound. What was happening with me, why did I just do that. And then the day starts and I drop it.

Think I’m going crazy or some things wrong? Maybe or I’m creating a story your so actively pulled in to. Who knows? What I do know is I went to palm springs pride this past weekend and it was a good vacation. But I miss it already, lol.

Checking in

/in /by

Hey folks,

Don’t know who is reading or do I really care? No. But if you are then wow and thank you for keeping up with my life. So its been  5 months since my return to the american life. I’m back to working and what not. I recently took a small weekend vacation and it was good to relax. Do I miss my life in China? Yes, of course I do. I am still at that point where I want to see everything and go everywhere. Of course coming back to this life means taking all the old responsibilities. Dealing with love life drama and near death experiences (not me). But its just been one hell of a roller coaster ride, and let’s just say I had to tell someone. So what is it I have to tell you? Honestly, just every random thought running through my brain right now.  What accomplishments have I made, what progress is stuck. How am I holding up? Who do I really care to talk to, and who should I just delete from my life. Why am I so brave against life, but so afraid of it as well. What can I do to make people smile again. Every moment I wonder am I truly helping others or am I just trying to help myself. I honestly hate the lime light of punishment but I crave approval, does that mean I’m shallow? Is it wrong for me to be shallow?

Hopefully I’ll get over this Monday moody funk. Thanks for reading.

“Pampering yourself has no limits” – Brian Thai