Archive for year: 2015
All roads come to an END….
/in /by Jaime Hannans End of life…I find it interesting that our culture does not welcome death as others do. In fact, we seem to be in a state of denial about it. But, it is understandable. Why would we want to think about our wonderful life ending and leaving our loved ones behind? But in reality, it is going to happen someday, and there is no time frame on it, which is why we need to prepare as though it may be tomorrow.
Unlike most young people, I unfortunately experienced death early in life. At the age of 13, I lost my best friend in a tragic car accident. I had previously lost my grandparents, however, losing someone so close to me that was my same age was a huge eye opener for me. Mainly, it made me realize the reality of death at a young age. Ever since Annie’s death, my family and I have been very open about discussing death with one another. Over the years, we have talked about different aspects of death. However, I have never actually thought of myself in the situation of actively dying and what I would want.
My overall thoughts about “what I would want,” are really not about me at all. I feel that at that point, it’s about what my family wants and needs in that situation. At the end of the day, I am passing on and my family has to go on living. In any event, I would want the process of losing me to be as easy as possible. My family and I have had small discussions about this topic, however, we have never gone into too much detail. I honestly have never thought it was all too important to discuss because I feel as though they know my overall feelings about the situation (as I have just discussed). However, this semester has opened my eyes to the importance of these conversations. I have witnessed first hand the vulnerability and desperation that families go through when their loved on is ill and the disharmony that it creates within the family. The last thing I would want is for that to occur in my family. So, I have realized that I need to plan and share with my family in further detail what my wishes are- in writing.
Hard Talks
/in /by Jaime HannansI have actually had an end of life conversation with my family before. It happened right after my grandpa passed away. His death happened in our home, with the family around him, and peacefully in his sleep. I knew that if I or any of my other loved ones were to pass away – that’s how I’d want (or them) to go.
A week after my grandpa passed, my dad sat all the kids down and told us straight out that if something were to happen to him or mom that we should wait 2 weeks. If there were no signs of improvement or prognosis/quality of life was going to be poor, we should take them off life support. It was sad to even think about that kind of situation but my brother, sister, and I agreed that it was important to talk about these things. End of life situations aren’t always expected, and having to make those kinds of decisions during a time of great stress/grief is difficult. That’s why it’s so important to discuss it whenever possible, preferably beforehand. During that discussion I also asked the same – to be taken off support and taken home in 2 weeks if chances of recovery were slim/none/poor quality. I didn’t designate a specific person, but we all agreed that we had the same wishes for ourselves and each other.
I think the way that my family and I view death may be different from other families. I have never been afraid of death because the experiences I’ve had with family deaths were mostly expected and peaceful. I’m not religious, but the rest of my family is very religious and view death as sleeping/waiting. I think the combination of their religious beliefs and the fact that our entire family is pretty stoic/unemotional (probably an Asian thing?) makes our view of end of life, not easier, but more manageable and easier to cope with. I also know that our family/culture has this unspoken agreement that we should take care of our parents/elders. If anything were to happen to my parents I would immediately step up to take care of them. I couldn’t ever put them in a facility/home, and I would definitely want them to be somewhere where they feel comfortable to pass away.
My parents designated me to make the decisions for them (because I’m the oldest child), but they said that they trusted any of us. I know I could trust my dad or mom to make the right decisions for me, and I know that they would both be strong enough to let go if it came down to it. To be honest, I would trust any member in my immediate family to make decisions or make sure my preferences were upheld ( if I had to designate one, it would be my dad). Our family doesn’t talk much or express our feelings (I don’t think I’ve heard an ‘I love you’ in a few months), but we all love each other through our actions and I know in the event of something tragic, my family would be able to support me, my wishes, and the best life/death I could have.
Final Thoughts
/in NOLA /by Sean AndersonMy name is Stephanie Jamal. I am a student in the Communication Program at California State University Channel Islands. Recently, I was given an opportunity to participate in a Service Learning course offered by the Environmental Science and Resource Management Program at my University. The course offers undergraduate students a chance to gain field experience for roughly 11 days in New Orleans, Louisiana. I’ll be honest, I did not know what I was in for before I applied for the course. Additionally, I don’t think any of my previous experience in my academic or personal life could have truly prepared me for what we endured. The craziest part of all this, each of us could have been lounging pool side back in California. Soaking up the sun, enjoying our Spring Break.
Instead, we shuffled through the murky waters of the Delacroix swamp hoping not encounter a venomous snake. For nearly two weeks, we bathed ourselves in Deet aiming to avoid satisfying ever hungry and persistent beast, commonly known as the mosquito. Finally, not to forget our favorite part, recreating our childhood Starwars fantasy. We pretended as if our machetes were actually lightsabers. We slashed and crawled through the unforgiving thorns of overgrown black blackberry bushes that tore at our clothes and skin.
We didn’t do this because any one forced us to. No one paid us to do the labor intensive activities we performed. We went at our own free will. We went because we wanted to. We wanted to learn. We wanted to help. We wanted to experience. It is one thing to be told what you are learning is important. Although, it is completely different to actually experience and understand it first hand. Programs like this don’t just provide an opportunity for students to gain experience. They also contribute much needed time to communities. This, I believe to be the reason why Service Learning is so vital to the survival of society.
We went to New Orleans because we wanted to learn. We wanted to help, and we wanted to experience something completely different from what we knew. In reality, what we experienced in NOLA, was far greater than what any of us could have anticipated. What we took back with us was much more than simple memories or a gold star to use on a resume. What we took back was a connection.
End of Life
/in Uncategorized /by Brittany SligerAlthough this is a difficult topic for some to discuss, it is absolutely necessary. As nurses we are subject to seeing more death and dying in one year, maybe even one month, than others will see in a lifetime. I think because of this nurses build up this resiliance to death and dying and in many ways you have to. However, with that being said, it is important to retain your compassion, practice empathy, and always ask yourself how you would want to be treated if you were in that patient’s and family’s shoes?
Death and dying is really nothing new for me and is a conversation that was brought up very early in my engagement to my husband because at that time we were unsure of my mother’s chances of having Huntingtons Disease, as well as my own. I grew up watching the end stages of my grandmother and uncles lives and currently see my aunt’s struggle. The nursing care that my family received from home health nurses inspired me to become a nurse as they were able to bring comfort to my family members in a way I couldn’t. In addition, these experiences with death and dying made me think about how I would like to be cared for and what interventions to prolong my life I desired. Nursing school has certainly provided me with some insight as well, as I would not want to be stuck in a long-term vent setting for the duration of my life. I think my mother would be the best person to make decisions for me along with a nurse friend who could provide my mother with some insight. My husband is not capable of giving up on anything in his life and certainly not on me, therefore he really wouldn’t be the best person to make health care decisions on my behalf.
I had the conversation again with my family this week asking about what they would want. My husband wants me to allow all possible medical interventions and would never want me to ‘pull the plug’ on him even if they said he was brain dead (even with a nursing student as his wife who was explaining to him that he was indeed dead at this point, he still refused to hear that I would let him go). My mother shares similar thoughts to my husband as she believes a miracle would eventually occur that would reverse these signs of brain death. It is funny how a conversation that is so serious can quickly change into a light-hearted conversation, and I had to ask each of them again in a serious manner to get a real answer in which they both replied that if there were zero signs of life and no possbility of coming back then they would like to be let go.
I continued to discuss end of life care with my mother and we discussed that the above response would be appropriate if this was an acute situation such as a car crash. However, my mother did say that if she were to suffer from a long term degenerative disease such as all her siblings she would not want the g-tube feedings, or any other interventions that would only prolong her mere existance (to which I share a similar view). I was able to finish the conversation by requesting my parents to fill out advance directives which they completed.
