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The Different Parts Of Me

We are a product of our environment. Wether we accept our environment or reject and counter our environment is a decision we must make. This is how identities are formed. Though the phrase “wears many hats” is usually aimed towards someone who has different roles and or completes different tasks, I’d like to use that phrase to describe our identity and the identities that form them. Though the card I carry in my wallet is referred to as my identification card, in actuality it says very little to nothing about me. Though, for practical purposes such as identifying my physical appearance and confirming my residence it does a good job. While it identifies me as a male and from physical appearance a Latino it does not identify the multiple identities that make up my identity. It, for example, does not identify me as a student, sports fan, binge reader, politics enthusiast, or an atheist. Though all of these listed identities are products of the cycle of socialization, I’d like to mainly focus on the identity of being an atheist.

As mentioned earlier we have a choice to be a product of our environment or reject it and become a different product and in my example I reject my environment. In the first stage of socialization I became socialized through my parents and family to believe in a higher power and attend mass on Sundays. Being told this by an authoritative figured I accepted it and didn’t question it. This was enforced in the second stage of socialization known as institution and cultural socialization. My family attended church and everyone else I seemed to know belonged to some sort of religious denomination. However the inconsistency of the things I was being taught resulted in change and caused me to become an atheist.

Cycle of Socialization

Throughout my day, I am expected to perform certain roles that are assigned to be by society based off of my identities. A few of my identities that either I have chosen, or were given to me, are: female, CI student, a white American, sister, daughter and roommate.

If we take my identity of “daughter” and put it through the cycle of socialization, the beginning would be me being born to my parents who have expectations of what a “good daughter” is supposed to be and gave me my name. An example of being born into an already socialized world as a daughter is the idea of being “daddy’s little girl,” and there are toys and signs and clothing being produced before a daughter enters the world.  The first socialization came from mostly my parents, along side other adults who were in my life at an early age the role of not only being someone’s child but a daughter. An example of that would be a memory of mine, where my grandmother told me that my mother was a good daughter because she was respectful and listened. Part of “training” as kids is learning and understanding the difference between good and bad, and that there are consequences to both. This subjective idea of good and bad heavily influences the socialization process. As a young child, I was given the title of daughter, but I wanted to earn the title of a “good” daughter. Eventually, the identity of daughter also meant being a sister. I think culturally, this idea of “daddy’s little girl” is pushed onto daughters at all ages. There are songs and traditions that encourage it. Reminder: I am claiming the identity of daughter, not “daddy’s little girl.” I am not saying that they are synonymous, but I am saying that society pushes daughters to identify with that phrase. The identity of being a daughter is enforced through privilege and rewards and punishments. I definitely think that because I was the only daughter out of three children, I have certain privileges but also pressures. I am encouraged to get married and pop out some grandkids, but I did/do get special attention from extended family because I am the only girl. The privileges are weird, I personally would like to ask those people why they treat me differently than my brothers, because I get the gender discriminations but I am curious about how numbers play into it. The result of the socialization leads to different pressures and expectations. I think this cycle when applied to the “daughter” identity, happens multiple times because our relationships with our parents are different at age 2, than at age 8, than at age 15, than at age 23, etc… so it’s almost like we have to socialize as we develop into our own selves and as our relationships evolve.

Who am I?

Thinking of six identities that I have on a day to day basis was much harder to think of then I had imagined. The six identities I could think of for myself was a student, where I have responsible on my academics such as studying doing all the homework, desk assistant, where I am have duties to help those who live on campus as well as help with projects around the office. Also, a friend where there are no real responsibilities but from time to time a friend needs help whether it be something personal or something as simple as homework, a sister and cousin, where I am a role  model not only to my siblings but my cousins since I am the oldest around them and first ever to attend college. Lastly being a social person, by that I mean saying hi and smiling at people it might help their day get a little better, I myself am still getting used to doing that since its more normal to do that type of stuff here then back home. The example I am going to use is being social. Being social is never really taught, for example when I was younger I was much more social then I am now and it wasn’t taught to me. I believe it comes naturally. In other ways it can be taught by family such as parents because they always say go say hi to so and so, also by teachers because working in groups there has to be some type of communication and it is learned even if it’s not the main purpose. Schools as well as church in a way force someone to be social. I have been in a position where I was forced to socialize at school when I didn’t want to as well as church. When I go to church they give a moment to shake people’s hands and if you don’t do it it’s considered rude. As a result of that I have become less social then I was before because I don’t like when something is forced upon me although I know it’s inevitable.  To change this I can look at it as an opportunity to meet more people not being forced to talk to people.

Who am I?

The identities I have on a day-to-day basis are some that are not as obvious as I thought they would. Six identities that I can observe are myself being an RA, where I am seen as the face of housing and am expected to act in a professional matter, the student where I need to focus on my studies and the necessity to do well in college to make it to where I want to be, the working college student who has to help pay my way through school in order to live comfortably, the athlete who has the desire to exercise and want to get outside and play, the socialite who wants to meet as many people as possible and get to know them as much as possible, and the clown that wants people to laugh when times are the toughest for others.  The socialite identity is a prime example of an aspect of my life that when through the cycle of socialization. It was born in a world where I was pretty reclusive and didn’t want to talk to a certain group of people that my parents deemed to be inappropriate for me to converse with.  Then my teachers enforced the fact that people aren’t inherently bad. That blossomed into the socialite I am today, where I became more distressed with people who weren’t like me anymore but then I decided to take action and decided that people are fine they way they are and that I can make changes in those peoples lives

Intersecting Identities

We are never just one thing. We never even really have one role ever. Everyone is a son, daughter, mother, father, teacher, friend, partner or something else to someone else. And in some ways these labels and parts of who we are make up our identity.  All of this is a good way to start to see the world, that each person is a sum of parts. However, many of these labels and identities people did not chose and have no control over. No one has a choice in black or white or Latino. It is all a chance of birth.  A persons identity and which parts they see as most important or relevant to themselves is mostly socialization. Within the study of social identity and the role of the world around us in shaping who we are, the cycle of socialization is a great way to understand how people make sense of who they are.

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The best way to understand the cycle of socialization is with an example. My own identities are female, white, straight, hard of hearing, middle class, and student to name a few. Now most of these I had no choice on. Let’s take what it means to be female through the cycle of socialization.

First, I was born. Belated congrats to my parents! I came into this world not even really knowing I was female, let alone having the information about what it means to be a girl in the world.

Second, is first socialization from parents, teachers and mentors. This is shapes expectations and values that are important later in life. Personally, I was lucky in this department because my parents were raising all three of us girls to believe that we could be anything we wanted. I was lucky in my other main role model too-my girl scout leader Naomi. She encouraged skills and belief in all of her scouts.

Third is where the outside world (institutions and our culture) either reinforces or bombards people with messages. This is where being a girl ran into some challenges. Television and media, for example, were still telling the message that women were less than men or that there are certain ways to be a girl. Princesses get rescued. Girls can’t throw. Superheroes weren’t for girls.  Then there were different messages that girls should like clothes and shopping. (Personally, I only like shopping if its for books).

Forth, messages from the world are reinforced. In school rewards for guys were some times superhero stickers or something along those lines. The girls on the other hand got rainbow stickers or pink hearts for their stickers.  It was considered weird if you were a tomboy sometimes. Other kids in elementary thought I was strange sometimes, because like the boys in school I had a Pokémon field guide.

Fifth, is the negative result those messages and reinforcement can have. For me it resulted in silence. I was sometimes almost ashamed of my geeky nerdy side. I would still watch the shows in private, but I wouldn’t talk about them. It was more socially acceptable for guys to have those interests, not girls.

The sixths and final step of the cycle is a choice. You can either choose to accept the status quo and be a part of that message and system or you can challenge to change it.  For me I am taking a stand. Women can and do like science fiction and fantasy. We can and do like superheroes and anime. And the women in these media rescue men not the other way around.   In fact, women want more heroines and are lobbying for more female superheroes that get equal air time with the men.

 

 

 

25 Best Jobs in America for 2015

http://www.glassdoor.com/blog/jobs-america/?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=Apr2015_US&utm_content=ODDBL15_US

End of Life Care

Before nursing school I never considered the death of my parents, a loved one, or even myself. Three years removed from that, I am now a lot more knowledgeable on the subject and have a new perspective on the issue. My wishes regarding end of life are as follows: I wish to donate all viable organs, if I have an extremely poor prognosis I don’t want to remain on a ventilator or any other life prolonging measures, and lastly, I would name my sister my durable power of attorney. Although I personally have not had these discussions with my family or peers, I do want to eventually have them. I believe that the best time to hold these talks would be this summer since my entire family will be together.

My parents rarely bring up the topic of end of life because I believe Hispanics rarely have these discussions. I am not sure if it is a cultural issue but I don’t know of any family member that has ever had a living will or appointed a durable power of attorney. When my parents have brought the issue up it is because a coworker or family friend has suffered the death of the family member. Their discussions are usually very brief and they talk about how they don’t want to be in a vegetative state. I plan to have a more formal talk with both of my parents at a more appropriate time. My hope is to have a definite pulse on what my parents’ wishes are regarding end of life issues.

Death and Dying

I tend to think about end of life care frequently because of the exposure that I receive when I volunteer at Our Community House of Hope. While I am taking care of the patients on hospice there I can’t help but think how lucky the are to be in such a loving environment when so many other patients die in long-term care facilities or in the hospital, usually with no one around. I take care of the patients like they are my family because it is hard to not think about that person in bed being one of your grandparents, parents, brother, sister, etc.

Recently my grandmother passed away and I can’t help but think about her death and how she did not suffer from any physical ailment until the day she died because her heart gave up. When discussing her death with my family we have all concluded that she died in the best way possible, besides being in a hospital in which my mother will never forgive herself for not taking her back home when she asked her to. One thing that I do think about and it did not cross anyone else’s mind in the family is that she was a DNR and she was still resuscitated in the hospital because my grandfather verbally stated to do anything they could to save her. I often wonder whom I would pick to make my decisions if I were unable. You have to be able to trust that they will do what you wish them to do.

After she passed my family and I had a long conversation about advanced directives and how important they are to have. Neither of my parents have an advance directive and it worries me. I know what they want if there needed to be a decision made but without them having a durable power of attorney I know my siblings would fight me on the issue. I also know that my siblings would not be able to make the decision that my parents would want.

I do believe that culture plays a significant role in death and dying. I believe some cultures deal with death significantly better than Americans. Americans tend to not think about death and seem to grieve for long periods of time. I am an American and I definitely grieved over my grandmother but I believe that death should be a celebration of life. Celebrate the person’s life and reminisce of the person that they were and the lives that they touched. Death is part of the life cycle and even though people are missed it should not be such a sad, horrifying event. I also witness that death is rarely about the person who died but about the family that is left behind.

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“CODE: Debugging the Gender Gap”

“CODE: Debugging the Gender Gap” will premier on April 19, 2015 at the Tribeca Film Festival in NYC. There will be additional showings throughout the week at the festival. Checkout the new trailer: http://www.codedoc.co/

The deficit of female and minority computer science engineers in America is a mounting gender, racial and economic issue. Tech jobs are growing three times faster than our colleges are producing computer science graduates. By 2020, there will be one million unfilled software engineering jobs in the USA. Companies are now faced with a serious pipeline problem when it comes to women. In 1984 the percentage of BS CS degrees going to women had reached 37%. Alarmingly the percentage of BS CS degrees today has dropped to close to 13%. This decline brings with it the return of discrimination issues that I used to think were behind us.