End of life….
My husband and I were in the car on our way to visit family for Easter, I looked at him and asked him what he would want for end of life care. I tend to bring up random topics during our car rides, but this particular topic took him by surprised. He asked me what I meant by end of life care. I knew I had to be more specific with the topic. I started by asking him if he would want me to make health care decisions for him if he was in a state he could no longer do it for himself. His response will be with me forever. He told me that he trusted that my decisions for his care would be out of a place of love and years of knowing how he would want to live his life. I was deeply touched by his response and I knew that I felt the same. We both had to lean on each, when we have lost loved ones in the past, but it did not prepare us for talking about the death of each other and I knew it was important for us to explore our feelings.
Our wishes and desires were similar. We both had buried loved ones in cemeteries and felt that even though our loved one’s physical bodies were there, we did not feel that their spirits were. We both agreed to have our ashes spread in a location that was filled with happy memories we both shared. Additionally, I brought up the option of donating our organs. I explained to him that the pink sticker on our drivers license that states “organ donor,” will over ride any feelings of opposition he may have to donating my organs. He then expressed how he would honor any wish I had to donate my organs. I told him that I wanted to specifically outline how my body was going to be donated. I wish not be used for research, because I still want a part of me to remain with him. The conversation during our car ride was harder than I originally thought it would be. The car ride showed me that this should be one of many conversations to come and that both my husband and I should set aside dates that we would begin to outline an advanced directive. I feel that this conversation brought us closer. I am starting to realize the importance of an advance directive beyond advocating for my patient’s wishes to be up held, but to make these situations easier for my loved ones.
