Is it a Dream? Maybe Not…

Im writing because I just cant sleep. People are making me think and its at the worst time to be thinking, but its also when I do my best thinking. I’ve realized a lot in the past couple of hours reading up on what everyones doing back home and what I’m doing here. Each day, I’m in class learning, but I always felt like I’m not truly absorbing it, because my heart does not feel like it wants to learn, but to help. I see people I’ve known since middle school making big names for themselves back home and I’m proud because not only are they making big names for themselves, they are also supporting others, ways I think that came with us that were born around our age. Many of us were taught morales and values in different ways but most of us took it to heart. So I’m out here learning and teaching, and yet the only thing keeping me going is the teaching. Today, a couple of friends came over and we discussed Personalites and of course in terms of MyerBriggs format, I end up as an INFP. I want to help the world, but something in me has made me hate half of it. I don’t when or why, I just know I’m alot more pessimistic then the damn description says. Yes each person is unique and cant really be categorized, but in my eye you can be generally stereotyped on certain points. I want to help others achieve their goals and achieve my own, but what haunts me to this day to hold so much despair against the world. Im proud to say, I lived in a world where I know friends are making their names out there in the world. Its time for me to step up to the plate though. So, What to do to see to better side of the world, theres nothing but to made a change in it, to put myself out there and push like everyone else. I gotta stop hating the world, and change it if i dont like it now. it’s been awhile since i’ve written a whole post just on my thoughts since being here.

Sincerely,
Brian