Listening…Something So Simple, Yet Done So Wrong

After participating in the ‘Listening’ exercise in class, I realized how much I must work on myself. Because of this activity, I learned that I need to work on giving individuals my full attention. I realized that I tend to not look people in the eyes. I also noticed that my eyes tend to wonder around the room instead of being focused on the individual. Looking at an individual is important when they are speaking because you can get a glimpse of what the individual is feeling from their body language. I did not necessarily feel the need to jump in and comment while my partner was telling me their frustrations, but I did feel the need to throw in a “”mhmm” or a “yeah” every once in a while to validate that I was listening. I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

Of the ten characteristics associated with a helping relationship, I feel the ones that come most naturally to me considering my current helping style are:

• The Helping Relationship Involves Feelings
• The Helping Relationship Demonstrates Respect for Individual Self-Worth

I believe these come naturally to me because I am very sensitive and understanding towards other peoples problems and feelings. I personally believe it is very important to always respect others and their decisions because I would want others to do the same for me.

The characteristics that are presently difficult to model and try out would have to be:

• The Helping Relationship Shows a Clear Structure
• The Helping Relationship Involves Communication and Interaction.

I see these as the characteristics that I need to work on. First of all, I tend to be all over the place when I talk with an individual. It is easy for me to get sidetracked from the true purpose of the conversation. As I stated above, I need to work on how I personally communicate with the individual I am having a one-on-one with. I have to work on directing my whole attention to the individual, especially my non-verbal actions.

To better myself, I have to integrate these more difficult characteristics into my current helping style. For example, if I engage in a conversation with an individual, I have to remind myself to look at the individual and not at the surroundings around the room; or I might remind myself what the purpose of this conversation is and not stray far from that objective (even if I really want to). I have to learn to catch myself when I am not following the helping guidelines and I must redirect myself. I have to work at this until it becomes a habit.