Farewell Dolphins, Fight on Trojans!

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So I guess the name of my blog is pretty appropriate; shift happens. This is definitely not a blog announcement I thought would happen after completing only three months in a new job. I’m nearing my ninth anniversary (June 6) at CSU Channel Islands, a place that has become a second home to me. But I will not reach a tenth anniversary.

I am beyond thrilled to share that I have accepted a position as Assistant Professor of Clinical Education in the Rossier School of Education at the University of Southern California (USC).  In this position (that starts July 1, 2015), I will teach master’s students pursuing a career in student affairs and doctoral students pursuing leadership roles in education.

Teaching has always been my passion (inside and outside of the classroom); inspiring others to achieve their dreams remains my catalyst.  I have a fire within to change our educational system into one that supports the success of all children equally, and I can’t imagine a better way to direct this fire than to prepare future leaders. Even in the most difficult teaching situations, with the most disgruntled individuals, I leave the conversation knowing that I love what I do (I read this blog post today that resonated with this change).   I’ve lost sleep over this position, not because I was worried about getting it (since I enjoy my current role and LOVE my team), but because I feel so excited about the opportunity.   I am so impressed with the purposeful planning and execution of the programs in Rossier that are infused with innovation, the care taken to set faculty up for success, and the commitment to making an impact in urban settings.

This excitement does not come with some sadness.  I applied for this teaching position last September, before I started my new role as an Instructional Technologist; otherwise, I would not have been job searching since I have been enjoying my job.  I am sad to leave this impressive team that has been so welcoming.  I am sad to leave a University that has been my home for nine years, but I am thankful for the opportunities CI provided me. It is in large part BECAUSE of CI that I feel prepared for this position. I have had the chance to create, reimagine, and redesign programs across campus.  CI created an environment that has fostered my innovative nature and commitment to excellence.  I have worked with/in three different Divisions at the University: Student Affairs, Academic Affairs and Technology & Communication. In Student Affairs, I worked with Student Leadership Programs, Assessment and Strategic Operations, New Student Orientation, Campus Recreation, and Career Development Service and served as a Judicial Officer and Student Government Advisor. In Academic Affairs, I taught in the Communication Program, University Experience Program, Liberal Studies Program and served as a co-creator of the higher education emphasis in the Masters of Arts in Educational Leadership. I was also a member of the Collaborative Online Doctorate in Educational Leadership committee. In Technology and Communication (with the Teaching & Learning Innovations Team), I have been fortunate to lead the Blended Learning Preparation Program for Faculty and helped to initiate CI Keys, a project that facilitates open connected education and is at the forefront of innovation.

Needless to say, I have given a lot TO CI and I have gained a lot FROM CI.  But my biggest gain isn’t about a list of programs or duties, it is from the students whose lives I have impacted (and who impacted mine) and colleagues who have continuously helped me be a better professional and person.  Although it is somewhat bittersweet, I think it is time for me to spread my wings. As a first-generation college student, CI instilled the confidence in me to pursue my dreams.

I feel like I have left my footprints at CI and

I KNOW CI has left footprints on my life.

footprints-dana-edmunds

Thank you to each and everyone of you at CI for your support, and thank you to USC for the opportunity.

Farewell Dolphins and Fight On Trojans!!

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Cycle of Socialization

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6 Identities

  • Male
  • Heterosexual
  • College student
  • Hispanic
  • White skin

The identity I would like to describe through the cycle of socialization is my white skin. In the beginning I was the only one out of all my siblings with white skin and they use to make fun of me. I used to get called names like “polar bear”, being as young as I was I would cry. Because they use to make fun of me I would wish I had brown skin like them. However, I was always a mamas boy and my mom had the same complexion as me. My mom made me comfortable with my complexion this was my first socialization. From kindergarten all the way up to college people always ask me “what am I” this question has always followed me because of my complexion. I know what I am and I don’t mind telling people, I’ve grown to be more comfortable. Recently in this institution stage I’ve been reading about white privilege in school and it talks about those with white skin been privilege. It has broadened my perception although I felt like I’ve never had that privilege. As a result I’ve learned to be more opened minded and recognize these things.

Death and Dying

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End of life care is something that I think all people feel uncomfortable talking about, but when in reality we shouldn’t because ultimately we were born to die. Although I have never talked to my family about what I want, sometimes I will leave little hints, as I think most of us do to avoid that uncomfortable discussion. First off what do I want? When thinking about this question, I always think about how I would rather have my family let me go, then sit and wait for a miracle that most likely will never occur. To me, someone who is on a ventilator, not responding, with minimal brain activity has already left this earth… Their soul has already gone and the family is just left with a body that is being controlled by machines so the physical part may remain alive. The family member is not there. If I am ever that person in the bed I would want my family to take me off all of the machines so they and myself could be set free. I would never want my family’s life to be like that, not only is it not fair to them, but it is not fair to me.

My family is very respectful in regards to family members wishes. I think we learned a lot about death and dying when my dad was in and out of UCLA waiting for a liver transplant due to him being diagnosed with unknown liver disease. At the end of his life he too was in the ICU fighting for his life until his pancreas failed and eventually died peacefully off of all machines… The best person in my family to make this decision I believe is my sister, Emily. She too is becoming a nurse and is one of the toughest people I know. I feel confident that she would make the right decision for me if I were to ever end up in a vegetative state. I wouldn’t give this job to my mom or brother because I wouldn’t want to place that decision on them. I am not saying they are wimps or softies; I just feel like my sister would carry out my wishes/ remind them of what exactly I wanted and make sure that everything necessary was done. In addition she will also have the medical knowledge behind her.

When finally sitting down with my family we discussed all end of life issues. The majority of them expressed similar ideas to mine, being that they too would want to be taken off the machines. My mom and step dad said that they would not want to burden us with sick parents. My mom said none of her kids should ever be put through that kind of reality or life. She said when it is time, let me go. I know in my heart that no matter what whenever it is my families time to go they will be watching over me. I have had experiences where I feel and know my biological dad is with me… I can’t explain it, but it is just a feeling of being protected and loved. I am confident that I can carry out my family’s wishes if ever something terrible happens to them. And I am confident that they too could respect my wishes in event that I ever end up in a vegetative state. Death is something that we should not fear, but a reminder that we must enjoy our life here because we never know when that time might come. I am glad that I have thought about this end of life topic and I will most likely print this post and give it to my family member and best friend, Cheyenne.

 

XOXO Stephanie

Discovering the Layers of One’s Identity

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After thinking about all the roles I undertake on a daily basis, I have come to the conclusion that the six identities that truly identify who I am are the following:

  1. A student attending California State University Channel Islands
  2. A female living in Southern California
  3. A Latina living in Southern California
  4. A daughter to my parents
  5. A sister to my brothers
  6. A DREAMer

Of these identities, I am going to trace my Female Identity through the Cycle of Socialization.

  • The Beginning – If you are born female, you are instantly seen as the minority of the two genders because we are born into a male-dominated world. So when I was born, without my choosing, I was already at a disadvantage in the world being that I was born a female and not a male.
  • First Socialization – Before I was even out of the womb, my parents were already buying baby items in different shades of pink and purple. For some reason, those are the colors associated with being female. Once I was born, I was instantly taught by my mom and dad what was considered “correct” for a lady to do versus what was correct for a boy to do. I was taught that it was okay to love makeup and dolls; to play in a play kitchen and braid hair. I was scolded when I didn’t cross my legs or when I came home from school with disheveled hair – those attributes are for boys to portray, not young ladys.
  • Institutional and Cultural Socialization – The image of what a women “should be” is constantly showcased on television, radio stations, children’s toys, books, etc. By watching, hearing, or reading such mediums, I came to the understanding that women are most comfortable at home. We must be able to cook and clean; and when the time is right, become a doting and loving mother. Women should also be a supportive and loving wife to her husband. Such images are constantly being thrown at young girls as they grow; these ideas subconsciously become imbedded into their brain. I know this was true for me.
  • Enforcements – When women do not follow these social and cultural norms, we are seen as outcasts from the dominant society. Women who engage in male activities are at times ridiculed for not acting like a lady. For example, when I was younger (being that I come from a male-dominated household) I always wanted to play with the boys at recess whether it be soccer, tag, handball, etc. The other girls at my elementary school would tease me for doing so, making me feel embarrassed for wanting to play those activities – activities that “ladys” are not suppose to engage in.
  • Results – By growing up with such male-dominated ideas, the female mind become very colonized and accepting of those views. After a while you stop questioning why and instinctively follow the male-written, female path of life. I am guilty of doing this. An easy example of this is the idea of marriage. I personally hope to someday get married and become a wife. But why is it that women are taught to think in such a way while boys are not? Why are we taught that marriage is an accomplishment we want to achieve?
  • Direction for Change/Action – For such a cycle to be broken, one must be willing to question the system and become educated. For myself, I have taken a number of Chicano Studies classes where the topic of focus is the role of women in society and what can be done to combat female stereotypes. These classes are perfect for me because not only am I a female, but I am a female who is Latina! I have gained a lot of knowledge and understanding throughout my different classes, allowing me to become socially aware of my treatment and allowing me to educate others on the topic.

Socialization

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Some identities that I identity myself with are:

  • Daughter
  • Friend
  • Sister
  • Student
  • Volunteer
  • Aunt

The identity I choose is being a college student. Although I was born into this world with no biases, or consciousness, since I was a little girl, my parents told me constantly that I will always go to college. Once I was a little older I got Socialized, around 13-14, one of my teachers recommended me for the AVID program and I got accepted, in which I was placed with students that had the same goals I did. By being in this program I got reinforced many times the thought of me going to college is possible, This all resulted in me really thinking that no matter what I was going to go to college. Although I moved from Palmdale, which did have AVID, to the San Fernando Valley, which did not have AVID, I made the action of looking for other programs that were going to help me get to college, I seeked out and found the Upward Bound Program.  I make this all sound like my journey to college was a breeze, but, i did has personal obstacles I had to deal with while trying to balance my academics. But, ultimately I can really say that it was because of both my AVID family and Upward Bound family that I am now in college, I cannot imagine going through taking the correct course, entrance exams, researching different institutions and filling out financial aid with out them.

The Different Parts Of Me

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We are a product of our environment. Wether we accept our environment or reject and counter our environment is a decision we must make. This is how identities are formed. Though the phrase “wears many hats” is usually aimed towards someone who has different roles and or completes different tasks, I’d like to use that phrase to describe our identity and the identities that form them. Though the card I carry in my wallet is referred to as my identification card, in actuality it says very little to nothing about me. Though, for practical purposes such as identifying my physical appearance and confirming my residence it does a good job. While it identifies me as a male and from physical appearance a Latino it does not identify the multiple identities that make up my identity. It, for example, does not identify me as a student, sports fan, binge reader, politics enthusiast, or an atheist. Though all of these listed identities are products of the cycle of socialization, I’d like to mainly focus on the identity of being an atheist.

As mentioned earlier we have a choice to be a product of our environment or reject it and become a different product and in my example I reject my environment. In the first stage of socialization I became socialized through my parents and family to believe in a higher power and attend mass on Sundays. Being told this by an authoritative figured I accepted it and didn’t question it. This was enforced in the second stage of socialization known as institution and cultural socialization. My family attended church and everyone else I seemed to know belonged to some sort of religious denomination. However the inconsistency of the things I was being taught resulted in change and caused me to become an atheist.

Cycle of Socialization

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Throughout my day, I am expected to perform certain roles that are assigned to be by society based off of my identities. A few of my identities that either I have chosen, or were given to me, are: female, CI student, a white American, sister, daughter and roommate.

If we take my identity of “daughter” and put it through the cycle of socialization, the beginning would be me being born to my parents who have expectations of what a “good daughter” is supposed to be and gave me my name. An example of being born into an already socialized world as a daughter is the idea of being “daddy’s little girl,” and there are toys and signs and clothing being produced before a daughter enters the world.  The first socialization came from mostly my parents, along side other adults who were in my life at an early age the role of not only being someone’s child but a daughter. An example of that would be a memory of mine, where my grandmother told me that my mother was a good daughter because she was respectful and listened. Part of “training” as kids is learning and understanding the difference between good and bad, and that there are consequences to both. This subjective idea of good and bad heavily influences the socialization process. As a young child, I was given the title of daughter, but I wanted to earn the title of a “good” daughter. Eventually, the identity of daughter also meant being a sister. I think culturally, this idea of “daddy’s little girl” is pushed onto daughters at all ages. There are songs and traditions that encourage it. Reminder: I am claiming the identity of daughter, not “daddy’s little girl.” I am not saying that they are synonymous, but I am saying that society pushes daughters to identify with that phrase. The identity of being a daughter is enforced through privilege and rewards and punishments. I definitely think that because I was the only daughter out of three children, I have certain privileges but also pressures. I am encouraged to get married and pop out some grandkids, but I did/do get special attention from extended family because I am the only girl. The privileges are weird, I personally would like to ask those people why they treat me differently than my brothers, because I get the gender discriminations but I am curious about how numbers play into it. The result of the socialization leads to different pressures and expectations. I think this cycle when applied to the “daughter” identity, happens multiple times because our relationships with our parents are different at age 2, than at age 8, than at age 15, than at age 23, etc… so it’s almost like we have to socialize as we develop into our own selves and as our relationships evolve.

Cycle of Socialization and Student Identity

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My Identities

Student- I think being a student is an important part of who I am because I always love to learn and expand my knowledge. I’m a very curious person so being a student helps me channel my curiosity, and because you never stop learning.

African-American- This identity is something people will always identify me as without knowing my background. Yes, I consider myself African-American but I also have other cultural aspects to me that attribute to who I am.  I’ve always been interested in knowing who I am as an African-American and my ancestral history. I also have to be aware that I will have to overcome discrimination because of my skin color.

I believe and have faith in God- Faith in God is something I knew about but never studied for myself. Recently, now that I’m in my second semester of college I have decided to study God’s word. My faith in God is important to me because God has made me who I am for a purpose.

Female- Being a female is important in defining who I am because it makes up a lot of the characteristics I have. Such as how I think, my emotional being, and how my body differs from a male. Also it’s important for me to understand as a women society will treat me different from a man.

Roommate- When it comes to sleeping, showering, or cleaning my dorm that is when my identity becomes a roommate. I must no longer think about myself only but be considerate of others. Being a roommate is my least enjoyable identity but it is important to me because I have learned so much about myself and others.

Mentor/Advocator for higher education- This is an important identity for me because it is something I am passionate about. I am a mentor for Leaders in Education Awareness Program, this program allows me to reach out to k-8 students who may have social justice issues, come from low-income household, and the first to go to college. This identity is not an everyday identity but when I have the chance to educate a young student I will.

Cycle of Socialization and Student Identity

The Beginning: As a young child I had limited information on what a student was, but beginning home schooled at a young age I didn’t think of home as school compared to my other siblings. I did the action need as a student to please my mother but didn’t exactly know what a student was.

First Socialization- When I went to public school my first public school teacher doubted me. I didn’t obtain information like I was supposed to in elementary. I knew I was an intelligent individual but still thought lowly of myself. I thought as myself as an okay student who had many faults and learned differently than everyone else.  When my mother went back to school in her mid-30s and when I was in high school, she got her BS in Biology to become a biology teacher. That is when I really started learning about being a student and college. I would go to my mother’s school to go to her lectures and her professor’s office hours. It was a great moment in my life, I was proud of my mother and I was able to bond with her professors. My mother made me begin to think that a student and college was a norm.  My mother shapes a student as a positive identity for me.

Institutional/Cultural Socialization and Enforcement- When watching Disney channel and teen movies I always admired the person who was the nerd. The nerd was most of the time themselves, that is what I liked about the nerd. I knew that school wasn’t not how all media portrayed it to be. Social life was not what school was all about. Also the media had a lot of minorities who had dead in jobs and wanted to go to college a lot later after high school. That shaped me to not want to be that person who started a dead end job after high school. I took Honors and AP classes which many of the white students or lighter students who were in these classes were going to college, but many of my minority friends and classmates were going to two years or working.

I had realized that some of the students who didn’t go on to college or a four year didn’t have the support I got from both of my parent.

Result/Action (direction for change) – I felt guilty that my close friends didn’t get to experience college life like I did and the many other generation of students who would need to be educated about higher education. It resulted in me helping other students who didn’t have the support system that I had or resources. I took my action when I came to college to be a part of Leaders in Education Awareness Program so that young students could have the knowledge to be a successful student pursuing higher education.

Who am I?

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Thinking of six identities that I have on a day to day basis was much harder to think of then I had imagined. The six identities I could think of for myself was a student, where I have responsible on my academics such as studying doing all the homework, desk assistant, where I am have duties to help those who live on campus as well as help with projects around the office. Also, a friend where there are no real responsibilities but from time to time a friend needs help whether it be something personal or something as simple as homework, a sister and cousin, where I am a role  model not only to my siblings but my cousins since I am the oldest around them and first ever to attend college. Lastly being a social person, by that I mean saying hi and smiling at people it might help their day get a little better, I myself am still getting used to doing that since its more normal to do that type of stuff here then back home. The example I am going to use is being social. Being social is never really taught, for example when I was younger I was much more social then I am now and it wasn’t taught to me. I believe it comes naturally. In other ways it can be taught by family such as parents because they always say go say hi to so and so, also by teachers because working in groups there has to be some type of communication and it is learned even if it’s not the main purpose. Schools as well as church in a way force someone to be social. I have been in a position where I was forced to socialize at school when I didn’t want to as well as church. When I go to church they give a moment to shake people’s hands and if you don’t do it it’s considered rude. As a result of that I have become less social then I was before because I don’t like when something is forced upon me although I know it’s inevitable.  To change this I can look at it as an opportunity to meet more people not being forced to talk to people.

Who am I?

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The identities I have on a day-to-day basis are some that are not as obvious as I thought they would. Six identities that I can observe are myself being an RA, where I am seen as the face of housing and am expected to act in a professional matter, the student where I need to focus on my studies and the necessity to do well in college to make it to where I want to be, the working college student who has to help pay my way through school in order to live comfortably, the athlete who has the desire to exercise and want to get outside and play, the socialite who wants to meet as many people as possible and get to know them as much as possible, and the clown that wants people to laugh when times are the toughest for others.  The socialite identity is a prime example of an aspect of my life that when through the cycle of socialization. It was born in a world where I was pretty reclusive and didn’t want to talk to a certain group of people that my parents deemed to be inappropriate for me to converse with.  Then my teachers enforced the fact that people aren’t inherently bad. That blossomed into the socialite I am today, where I became more distressed with people who weren’t like me anymore but then I decided to take action and decided that people are fine they way they are and that I can make changes in those peoples lives